37% of Parents Now Rely on the Bank of Mom, Dad and Grandma

Nearly two in five American parents with young children — 37% — expect financial help from their own parents or grandparents over the next year, according to the BMO Real Financial Progress Index. They are not waiting for the so-called Great Wealth Transfer. They are drawing on it now.

The pressure driving that dependence is broad and measurable. BMO found that 82% of American parents say the cost of raising children has "gotten out of control." Another 86% say everyday expenses — daycare, after-school programs, summer camps, school supplies — make it harder to save for their children's futures. More than three quarters of parents told BMO that financial support from extended family is essential to afford opportunities for their children.

"Raising kids has always been a labor of love, but right now, it is also a major feat of financial engineering with families torn between spending on the urgent and the important," Robin Growley, BMO's U.S. Head of Consumer Products, said in the report. "Whether you are budgeting for diapers or dorm rooms, the absolute best antidote to daily financial stress is a clear, actionable plan."

Grandparents do more than write checks

The support flowing from older generations is not purely monetary. Among parents expecting assistance, 43% depend on grandparents for childcare, BMO found. Another 26% said family members would help fund their children's futures through a 529 plan or another savings account.

The childcare economics explain why. According to Care.com's 2026 Cost of Care report, parents spend on average about 20% of their annual income on childcare. Roughly one in five spends more than $30,000 a year on it. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services sets 7% of family income as the benchmark for affordable childcare.

That spending share fell 2% from 2025, but the mental health toll moved in the opposite direction. About 80% of parents in the Care.com report spend almost every waking hour focused on someone other than themselves. The report also recorded a 5% increase in parents who have considered suicide or self-harm.

"Parents are being pushed well beyond their limits by the demands of caregiving," Brad Wilson, CEO of Care.com, said in the report. "If this continues, care pressures risk pushing more parents to cut back or step away from their careers. That will only deepen financial strain and emotional stress, trapping them in a system that continues to fail them."

Housing deepens the dependence

Housing compounds the squeeze. BMO's research found that 60% of Gen Z homeowners and 57% of Millennial homeowners could not have purchased a home without family financial support. Nearly six in 10 Gen Z adults also expected to receive or ask for financial help from parents or grandparents.

The pool of money behind that assistance is historically large. Cerulli Associates, a market research firm, estimates that $124 trillion in wealth will transfer through 2048, with nearly $100 trillion coming from baby boomers and older generations.

But the distribution is starkly uneven. In Q2 2026, the top 1% of households by wealth held roughly 30% of total assets, according to Federal Reserve data. The bottom half of households held about 5%.

Proximity pays — with strings attached

Living near family carries a measurable premium. BMO found that 45% of Americans with young children live close enough to family to receive help. Those parents save an average of $1,915 a year on childcare and $1,443 on groceries compared with parents without nearby family support.

The trade-off is obligation. Some 70% of parents receiving family support also carry responsibility for the financial or emotional well-being of their aging parents, versus 45% of parents without family nearby. About seven in 10 parents living near relatives who provide childcare identify as part of the "sandwich generation," simultaneously supporting children and aging family members.

"Most people make decisions to live near family with their hearts, not their spreadsheets, but those choices carry real financial consequences," Growley said. "Having a grandparent help raise your kids can be one of life's greatest gifts, but family caregiving is often a reciprocal arrangement — and it can be a lot when you're already stretched thin."

With intergenerational support now underwriting childcare, education savings and homeownership for millions of households, the effective transfer of boomer wealth is already underway — decades before the estates are settled.