Adam Grant Says Voice Memos Are the Easiest Way to Reconnect With Old Friends

Psychologist Adam Grant says a voice memo is the best way to reconnect with old friends you've lost touch with — and research says that call, text or note you keep postponing could measurably improve your mood and career.

Grant, author of the new book Vibe on the science of human connection, has been promoting the bestseller across podcasts and interviews. One piece of advice he shared on ultra-endurance athlete Rich Roll's podcast stood out to Jessica Stillman, who covers the topic for Inc.com: use voice memos to restart dormant friendships.

Why don't people reach out to old friends?

The short answer is fear of rejection. Even when psychologists prompted study participants to write a note to an old friend they wanted to talk to again, the vast majority never sent the letter, the research shows.

People worry the exchange will feel awkward after years of silence. They fear the other person won't want to hear from them. In that particular study, though, recipients almost always did want to hear back, the findings show.

Grant described the mental block in direct terms on Roll's show.

"They think it's just been too long," Grant tells Roll. "They think they've violated some imaginary standard of 'If we haven't texted at least once a week, we haven't seen each other once a week, we're no longer friends.'"

What does science say you gain from reconnecting?

The research is unequivocal, according to the reporting: reconnecting with lapsed friends tends to make people happier and likely more successful.

The benefits break down into several areas the studies point to:

• Casual contacts and distant connections can boost mood by a surprising amount.
• Distant "weak ties" are the connections most helpful for finding a job.
• Those same weak ties are the best source of bold new ideas.
• People with broader social networks are more likely to stay resilient in tough times.

That last finding matters for anyone building a business or leading a team through uncertainty. The network you think of as peripheral — the old college roommate, the former colleague from two jobs ago — is often the one that pays off when circumstances turn.

Why voice memos work

Grant's suggestion is dead simple, in Stillman's characterization: instead of drafting the perfect letter or agonizing over a text, send a voice memo. It's the kind of idea entrepreneurs and others can put to use almost instantly, she writes.

The format lowers the barrier. You don't need to compose flawless prose or fear an awkward real-time conversation. A memo takes seconds to record and carries your actual voice — a human signal that a text can't match.

Grant, a self-described research nerd, knows the data on people's reluctance well. His point is that the "imaginary standard" people hold — the belief that friendships require weekly contact to stay valid — has no basis. The friend you haven't texted in three years is, by the evidence, very likely to be glad you reached out.

The so-what

For business readers, the takeaway is concrete: dormant ties are an underused asset. If weak ties drive job opportunities and new ideas, per the research Grant cites, then the cost of sending one voice memo is close to zero and the upside, in mood, resilience and opportunity, is real.