BarkleyOKRP CEO Rejects the 'Lonely at the Top' Playbook

BarkleyOKRP's chief executive took the job in May 2025 and received a message that read: "Congratulations and condolences." One peer sent it. Others shared the sentiment, she writes. The corporate world treats a CEO appointment like buying a boat: enjoy the first day, brace for the rest.

The author, now leading the agency, has published a first-person account arguing that the most common advice given to new chief executives — expect isolation — is also the worst. She names her targets directly: Tim Cook of Apple has called being CEO "a lonely job." Airbnb's Brian Chesky described leadership as climbing a mountain where "the higher you get to the peak, the fewer people there are with you."

She believed it at first. She does not anymore.

What changed her mind?

An experiment. This year she sat down with seven of advertising's most respected leaders for a podcast series called Tell Me Everything. The stated topics ran from creativity to AI to agency growth. The stated purpose was to inspire industry executives.

The real purpose was different. She had, in her own words, "a mic and an ulterior motive": connect with women in her position and mine them for wisdom. Every episode became a case study in leadership. And every conversation surfaced the same finding: no one was actually doing it alone.

Their methods varied:

• One leader kept a personal board of directors.
• One enlisted executive coaches.
• Others built entire organizations around women supporting women.

All seven, she writes, had people they could look to, lean on, and learn from — people who challenged assumptions, offered different perspectives, and relayed hard truths. "Guess they missed the loneliness memo," she writes.

Why does the advice persist?

Her diagnosis is structural. "What we expect we tolerate, and what we tolerate we perpetuate," she writes. In plain terms: tell new leaders that isolation is normal, and they will accept it rather than fix it.

She argues that "it's lonely at the top" is not an age-old truism but the same old mistake repeated each generation. The fix is not stoicism. The fix is deliberate relationship-building.

She started the podcast hoping to find all the answers. She now admits she never will. What she has instead is seven women she can approach for advice, ideas, or the relief of knowing her problems have been felt before.

How is BarkleyOKRP applying this?

The agency's leadership operates shoulder to shoulder, she writes. Questions are welcome. Input is valued. Wins are celebrated together.

She also created an internal email series called Good News, where anyone can submit good things happening around the agency. Her verdict: sharing in success is another effective way to avoid isolation.

What should new CEOs actually do?

Her counsel is concrete. Introduce yourself to the leaders you respect. Build relationships with people who understand the weight of the role. Surround yourself with smart minds as if it were part of the job description. She adds a pointed note on rivalry: "Remember competitors are just friends you haven't met yet."

Then, when the bigger decisions and harder calls arrive, tap into that vault of confidants.

The piece closes with a reversal of the industry's standard send-off. When she became CEO, she was told to expect loneliness. Two years in, she encourages the opposite: "Find your people." She notes, with some dry humor, that starting a podcast is one option — but not a requirement.

For the advertising industry's incoming class of chief executives, the message lands as a measurable shift in norms: the isolation premium, long priced into the corner office, is now negotiable.

By Daniel Okafor