Executive Coaches: Real Toughness Beats the Ruthless-Jerk Playbook

Executive coaches who have worked with leaders at Apple, Nike, and General Motors argue that most leaders misdiagnose toughness. They see only two options: play the ruthless jerk to get results, or play the passive diplomat and watch standards slip. In an era of constant crisis, the coaches write, "fake toughness"—ego, fear, and performative hardness—isn't strength. "It's insecurity."

The authors, who have also coached executives at fast-growing unicorns, lay out their case in a Fortune commentary piece published October 3. Their core claim: great organizations are built by genuinely tough leaders, and true toughness is not bullying or emotional suppression. They define it as the psychological capacity to commit to a bold mission, stay strong in yourself, hold high standards, navigate uncomfortable truths, and bring out the best work in others.

Comfort is the problem

The authors name comfort as the quiet enemy of toughness. Comfortable leadership, in their telling, means staying overly friendly, giving vague praise, sugarcoating hard realities, and giving underperformers "one more quarter." Toughness runs the other way. It means saying "I was wrong," giving precise feedback the moment standards slip, and making hard people decisions before mediocrity sets in.

The backdrop, they argue, is a broad breakdown of traditional leadership models. They point to geopolitical conflicts marked by erratic posturing, college athletics roiled by the transfer portal and NIL deals, and corporate boardrooms plagued by either toxic micromanagement or conflict-averse passivity.

The habits they prescribe

The piece outlines several practices for being tough without sacrificing someone's humanity—"without being a jerk."

Tell and live a good story. Leaders should create a compelling narrative that inspires people to believe, belong, and go all in. In times of uncertainty, teams don't just need targets; they need purpose. A leader's manifesto defines the standard of excellence and anchors the team when external pressure mounts, turning chaotic effort into collective focus.

Assemble a team you trust to care. Tough leaders don't compromise on talent or cultural alignment. They pull together exceptional people who believe deeply in the mission and the leader's way of working—people who welcome high expectations, align on core values, and thrive in an environment of mutual accountability.

Use emotions strategically. The authors draw a line between suppression and explosion. Suppressing emotion creates coldness and stagnation; exploding emotion onto a team can turn abusive and perpetuates anxiety and fear. Real toughness means regulating your own state so you can channel passion, urgency, and intensity into constructive energy that changes behavior when it's needed and fuels the mission.

Address mistakes honestly and quickly. Fake toughness creates an environment of posturing where people aren't fully honest and hide mistakes, the authors write. True toughness creates a culture where team members can challenge assumptions, admit errors early, and deliver unfiltered feedback without fear of retaliation.

Make accountability a non-negotiable. High standards mean nothing without clear execution systems, the coaches argue. Their prescription: set explicit expectations, assign clear owners for each goal, track progress, give regular feedback, and enact consequences when work stays off track. Progress then stops relying on periodic nagging and becomes built into the daily rhythm.

An operating system, not a trait

"'Toughness' isn't a trait you're born with; it's an operating system you build," the authors write. They describe seven habits that start with how you lead yourself and extend outward to how you lead others.

The payoff, in their framing, is escaping a false choice. By moving past the binary of being "nice" versus being "ruthless," leaders can drive extraordinary performance while building a culture people are proud to be a part of.